it's not all candy canes and kisses.

China is wonderful......the people, the culture, my school.

But there are those days.........the down days--days when I am utterly frustrated, sad, and homesick.

Unfortunately, I have always been a victim of idealism. Yes.....that is right.....I am an "everyone is good--money doesn't matter--rainbows and ponies--candy canes and kisses" thinker. It's a shame that I am a part of reality......because money does matter, and not all people are good, and rainbows and ponies usually only exist in JCrew ads....where the girls, in chic and expensive dresses, are pretty and perfect.

Before I came to China, I believed that I was venturing to the mystical far-east of pleasantry.....a land of mooncakes, pretty girls in traditional dresses, elaborate tea ceremonies, and a people who were quiet, reserved, and polite. Well, China is truly culturally outstanding......but my initial perception was simply wrong. The people here are, well, people. They don't live mysterious lives as portrayed in The Lonely Planet.

As a matter of fact, there are some things I have not become accustomed to:

1) The spitting, snot rockets, and nose-picking.
2) The face that babies don't wear diapers....they eliminate on the sidewalks, gutters, and streets.
3) Always being intensely stared at.
4) Always being asked to sing for large groups of people at gatherings. (Yes, once again: after judging an oral English competition, Gary and I were asked to sing and entertain the crowd for 20 minutes while the scores were being processed.)
5) Although a fan of honesty, sometimes I am taken back by the brutal honesty of this culture. For example, the Chinese will tell you if you are fat...ugly...stupid...or if your Chinese pronunciation is poor...or if you don't use chopsticks well..etc.
6) The deafening sounds of car and bus horns....for example, if a bus stops to pick up people, the cars and buses behind it will start honking....like the stopped bus is going to start magically moving because of the sound of another bus' air horn.
7) The lack of cell phone decorum (this is infuriating). Here is the rule: if it rings, answer it. It doesn't matter if you are in a meeting, or a judge in an oral English competition, or at the dinner table...the urgency of a call trumps all things and situations.

Now, please do not assume that all Chinese people do all of these things. And please don't assume that the Chinese are rude and thoughtless people....this is far from the truth. But the clash between American and Chinese culture sometimes creates an unusual tension in me. Although I have been blessed to travel many places, I have never endured culture shock quite like this.....

I have to remind myself...I am in China...this is the culture...get over yourself. There are the days when I can do this....and there are the days when I can't.

However, for all the good and bad...I wouldn't have it any differently. All I have to do is write or talk to one of my Chinese friends (Ingrid, Dan, Diana, Harry), or step into a classroom (well...this has its infuriating aspects too....but this is a topic in and of itself), or talk to one of my students, and I can still return to my ideal world....where life is a happy party of candy canes and kisses.

sheng ri kuai le.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to my best friend: my mom.

Everyone (students and teachers) at my school wishes you a very happy birthday! Much love from the far east............

Robert (the creator of "the happy birthday" sign)

Our dear friend, Harry.

Our lovely friend, Maria.

Our dear friend, Jerry.

want to come to china and teach?

If you or a friend are considering coming to China to teach, please read this article. It is very important that you go through some type of western organization that will work with the Chinese government in order to ensure your safety, salary, and well-being. Please do not be naive....although China needs English teachers, it can can be quite dangerous to seek a job by yourself. Read this article for a better understanding:

English Teachers Warm of Bad Treatment in China

On a lighter note:

A couple people have asked if they can share my blog with others. Please feel free to do so; I am quite honored by these requests.

peace, love, and mooncakes, leslie-ann.

The name game.

As you read in my previous post, I have to come up with lots of English names for my students. So far, I have been kind when assigning students a name: Sam, Madison, Elle, Madeline. Heck, I have even given some a special tribute by naming them after my favorite authors, friends, and music groups: "Ezra" (Ezra Pound), "Dylan" (Dylan Boren), "Judy" (my mom), "Marilyn" (my Nana), "Tegan" and "Sara" (one of my favorite music groups), Oscar (my favorite designer: Oscar de la Renta), etc.

However, I am finding that the Chinese classroom is not always a haven of well behaved children.....as a matter of fact, some of the kids drive me nuts. So Gary and I have compiled another list of names....fitting names that will secretly make us laugh when we call on these "special" students: Gaylord, Lancelot , Hannibal, Clarice, Malaria (pronounced Mal-uh-ree-ah), Hyman (after the Greek Goddess). Of course, it would be terrible if Hannibal grew up to be a business man, or Hyman a doctor, or if Malaria worked for the CDC in America.

*Please note that this is a joke.....my sense of humour in not cruel; Gary and I are not naming our students any of the names located in the second paragraph. We simply like to entertain ourselves when planning our lessons.

do you want a chinese child named after you?

If so, please let me know. Many of my students do not have English names. I need to come up with about 50 female names and 50 male names.

P.S. Dylan Boren, you definitely have a spot....as a matter of fact, I know exactly who will be bestowed with your fine name.

stop complaining.

For those of you who are currently teaching or will be teaching soon, I want to share something with you. I remember, quite vividly, the complaints I received from students every day about about the hardships of American public education.....classes are too long...there is too much homework..."school sucks".....your class is boring.....there are too many tests....8:30 is too early for classes...etc, etc.

Let me share our Chinese school's schedule:

6:20-6:35: Morning Call (students go to class)
6:40-7:00: Morning Exercise
7:00-7:25: Breakfast
7:30-8:00: Reading Period
8:05 8:50: First Period
9:00-9:45: Second Period
9:45-10:10: Morning Exercise
10:10-10:55: Third Period
11:05-11:50: Fourth Period
11:55-12:25: Lunch
12:30-2:10: Afternoon Break
2:10-2:25: Afternoon Call (students go back to class)
2:30-3:15: 5th Period
3:20-3:30: Eyes Exercise
3:30-4:14: Sixth Period
4:25-5:10: Seventh Period
5:10-5:50: Break/Activities
5:50-6:20: Dinner
6:50: Evening Call (students go back to class)
7:00-8:40: Night Lesson 1/Study Hall
8:55-10:00: Night Lesson 2/Study Hall
10:20: Bedtime

Next time you hear students complain about their measly seven hours in school, show them this schedule. Moreover, if they think school is too hard, or long, or it simply "sucks", tell them it is okay. There will always be a smart and hard working Chinese student who will replace them in a University or job.

Also note that this is only a small part of the stress these students endure....testing, class placement, and filial duties are omnipresent stressful factors in their lives. Only the TOP students ever make it to a University....the rest are resigned to driving a bus, waiting tables, or working in retail. It saddens me that many students in America don't realize and seize the opportunities that are so readily available to them....if only everyone had our opportunities.

the first day.

First day of class

Yesterday marked the first day of my teaching career in China. There were the normal jitters....however, I was unprepared for the warm welcome I received in the classroom and the side-splitting laughter that occurred.

My first day of student teaching in the states was terrifying--my seniors displayed vicious and crude attitudes the moment I met them, and I had no professional help whatsoever. Walking into the Chinese classrooms was a wonderful experience. Every student displayed a smile, applauded my entrance, and fully participated in my lesson. Moreover, every teacher offered assistance, help, and advice. It is an experience that would make individuals want to become a teacher or stay in the profession longer.

I had the students introduce themselves during the first lesson. I had to bite my lip to conceal my laughter. Chinese students pick English names based on how they sound.....many times you will meet a "Winter," "Snoopy," "Angel," or "Rocket." If a student likes the way a word sounds...or a particular movie....or a specific adjective, he/she will usually use it as his/her English name.

Perhaps this short snippets will help you understand the humor I am trying to convey:

* Hello, my name is Mosquito.
*Hello, I'm Potato. I love potatoes because they are very cheap and delicious.
*Hello, I am Handsome.
*Hello, my name is Obi 1 Kenobi, but you can call me Obi.

I am quite sure my laughter will not cease this year.

p.c. free.

A clothing shop in Dong Men

teacher's day.

Every year in China, one day is dedicated to the teachers...they are celebrated and praised for their hard work and accomplishments (trust me; this is nothing like the U.S.'s lame "teacher's appreciation day"). This "day" is actually a weekend of elaborate celebrations, food, and traveling. Gary and I were invited to take part in all of the festivities.

On Friday evening, we enjoyed dinner, karaoke, and festivities with all of the Senior I teachers. Gary and I were asked to perform a song.....we chose "I can tell we are going to be friends" by the White Stripes (most of you will recognize this as the opening song in Napoleon Dynamite). This was interesting....and for some reason, heavily applauded.

On Saturday, Gary and I traveled with the teachers to Huizhou where we went white water rafting during the day, enjoyed a traditional Hakka dinner, and ended the evening with a two-hour-long massage before crashing at a five star golf resort.

After enjoying a large, traditional Chinese breakfast on Sunday, we set out to see the seashore. All of the teacher's piled onto a fishing boat and enjoyed a short ride in the gulf waters.


It was an unforgettable weekend.......

the birthday boy.

Gary turned 22 years old yesterday! We celebrated by eating a scrumptious Western meal (for those of you who find this appalling, please understand that once in a while it is nice to have a break from rice, dumplings, and unidentified meats).

Tiffany and I purchased a beautiful Bread Talk cake and decorated him with a birthday banner...which he was required to wear all night long. It was a wonderful celebration; I will let the pictures tell the story......

gary goes to the hair salon.

Gary was in desperate need of a haircut. So, yesterday afternoon we crossed the Xin Wei Lu (Lu= Road) into the exotic zone of "Nationals Land"...well, this is what I call it...every time we enter this plaza/market area, we are the only foreigners....stares, whispers, and the occasional "Hello, Guila" (I think this is the right spelling...I detest this word due to its etymology: white devil) quickly follow our inconspiuous entrance into this area. Unlike the rest of Shenzhen, when I enter this zone I always feel like I am in a rural area of China...where a white face, blue eyes, and blond hair are illusory images.

Anyway, Gary chose a tiny barber shop, sat down in the chair, pulled out his camera, displayed a photograph, and told the hair dresser: wo yao zhei ge (I want this one). After an hour of trimming, buzzing, and a shampoo, Gary was a happy boy with a sassy hairstyle. He admits, though, that most of his glee stemmed from the fact that his day of beauty came to a grand total of five kuai (63 cents).