in between.

My job has ended and my flight is set for July 20th. I've landed in the lovely "in between":

In between jobs
In between countries
In between incongruent time frames
In between sadness and happiness

In between.

So, Gary and I are are going to travel for a month.

Destination 1:
We will fly to Chengdu tomorrow. Here I will achieve my life-long dream: holding a panda.

Destination 2:
On the 12st, we will fly to Tibet. I am extremely excited about this trip as it is physically daunting and intellectually stimulating. We decided to forgo expensive tours and attempt the eight day journey to Everest by ourselves. After spending three days in Lhasa, we will take a bus to Shigatse. We will hire a tour guide and begin a three day/40km trek from Shalu Monastery to Nartang Monastery. At the end of our trek, we will hire a Land Cruiser and driver to transport us to Rongphu Monastery. At this point, we will being another 2 hour trek to Everest Base Camp. After spending the night at EBC, we will descend back to Lhasa.

Destination 3:
Gary and I have decided to forgo planning this part of our adventure. From Lhasa, we will endure a 24 hour, hard sleeper bus ride to Golmud in Qinghai Province. At this point we will see what destinations are offered at Golmud's bus station, pick one, and begin province hopping. Technically, we are going to get on buses and trains and see where they take us. I am going to enjoy China as it should be enjoyed--through unplanned steps and an open-mind. We will return to Shenzhen on the 15th, see a few friends, and head to Guangzhou on the 19th.

The 20th will come far too soon.

Gary and I will blog about our travels after we arrive home.........until then, 再见！

and then it ended.

Yesterday was my last day of teaching.

I am not overcome so much with sadness as I am with disbelief. I've been told that time passes much more quickly as you age--a bitter truth.

One of Gary's students wrote him a note on the last day of class:

I don't know what to say. So I just sent you a paragraph I like.

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected? Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.

Teenagers always amaze me; many of them possess much more insight than we credit them with.

It's perfect advice for my ending and beginning. May I have the strength and insight to follow it.

hues of happiness.

6.6.07

Gary and I traveled into the city last week and spent the day with some of our students. We ate breakfast, enjoyed ice-cream, visited a photo booth, and went shopping. One of my student's blogged about our "happy day".

For me, a thousand hues of happiness are caught in this picture:

rethinking wentworth.

Last year, after being awarded the Wentworth grant from my university, I traveled to China for an independent study of The Analects of Confucius. I wanted to understand how his teachings had influenced China's culture, people, and society. I was intrigued that the Confucian teachings could survive the rise of Legalism, the book burning campaigns of the Chin Dynasty, the Mongol invasion and rise of the Yuan Dynasty, the moral erosion of the Tang and Ming dynasties, the Opium wars of the 1800s, and the Cultural revolution. Moreover, I was dumbfounded that his philosophy of maintaining a strong moral construct to benefit the whole of society could remain ingrained in a people that endured such intense and prolonged suffering. How could the Confucian concept of ren (仁）--to love someone--be transmitted through 2,558 years of wars, epidemics, famines, political discord, and communism? I still haven't figured it out.

However, due to naivety and ignorance, I neglected to recognize the unpleasant consequences of this patriarchal philosophy.

Before I continue, it is important to note that I do not align myself with 21st century feminist ideals. Unfortunately, I believe the current feminist movement is mutating women into alienating, bigoted femi-nazis bent on destructing the male population. Thus, my criticism arises from a humanitarian stand-point, not a feminist's.

The Confucian teachings promote filial piety as the foundation for a fair and loving society. Confucius believed that filial piety was the spring board for kindness, good governance, humaneness, education, and a strict moral structure. In strict contrast to Legalism, Confucianism dictates all human are innately good--always capable of kindness and love. I truly believe Confucius was the Superior Man he always spoke of--one who only discriminated between good and evil.

Unfortunately, Confucianism bled into Neo-Confucianism: a sick deformation of the original philosophy used to subordinate woman. Girls became possessions--their worth determined by the number of sons they bore, the size of their "golden lilies", and how well they obeyed orders. They were a mouth to feed--a burden to bear--worthless things. Even "Confucius said: "Girls and inferior men are hard to raise. If you get familiar with them, they lose their humility; if you are distant, they resent it [17:25]." Once raised, "marrying a daughter (was) like throwing out a cup of water*." Women led horrible existences--trapped in shells of sadness. Their greatest hope of happiness was to adhere to this belief: when a girl, obey your father; when married, obey your husband; when widowed, obey your son. These beliefs led parents to commit infanticide, men to take concubines, and society to be visually blind to horrific humanitarian abuses.

But why?

Scholar Xiao Ma has said: "Women always have been fighting for a way out of the Confucian shadows." So how does Confucianism apply to women of the past and present? This is the question I should have asked a year ago. I now understand that trouble broods when societies are studied on a holistic scale. So, I am re-thinking and redefining my past Wentworth studies and my current understanding of this prominent Asian philosophy. After all, "Confucius said: "Reviewing what you have learned and learning anew, you are fit to be a teacher [2:11]."

*Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, by Lisa See