the human element.

I was recently browsing through some of my teaching pictures when I suddenly felt enlightened.

For the past five years, when asked why I chose the teaching profession, I always fumbled and mumbled through trite diatribe: "It's my vocation." "I love literature." "I feel like I can make a difference." et cetera. et cetera.

However, it's none of these things that really motivates me. Let's be honest:

1) A plethora of professions could be defined as a vocation. And most people--who know me well--understand my desires change from week to week. I'm a rather fleeting character....probably too round for a novel.

2) A love for literature is not definitive of a passion for teaching. A love for literature simply means you like to read and dissect language, syntax, and literary elements.

3) I would probably make a bigger difference if I made a trillion dollars and donated it to stem cell research.

The thing that drives me to the teaching profession is the human element.

I love interacting on a personal level with developing characters. I love intense conversations where shallow and vague ideas find depth. I love giving young people just enough information to allow them to reason and come to their own conclusions (whether they be right or wrong). I love allowing disappointment to drive me to satisfaction. I love intellectual osmosis. I love the dramatic in spoken and written language. I love when my smile is returned. I love helping people fall in love with Shakespeare, Austen, Steinbeck, or any other brilliant literati, and I love when they receive something from this new-found delight. I love the entire spectrum of emotions. I love hugs. I love giving high-fives. I love feeling young because of the young.

I love feeling....this is the human element.

People may believe my feelings and choices are motivated by an immature love of one who has not lived long enough to recognize these as surreal emotions that will easily be replaced by the brutalities of reality. Perhaps they are right. But, "since feeling is first/ who pays any attention/ to the syntax of things*?"

*A line from e.e. cummings' poem, "since feeling is first"