self improvement.

I woke up this morning and found large bleach spots all over one of my favorite dresses. Usually, this would send me into a quiet rage and I would cry for fifteen minutes and remain livid for the rest of the day. However, this morning I looked at the dress, shook my head, and repeated Tiffany's famous words: "Oh, China."

For some reason, I am slowly becoming like my mother: immune to life's trivial problems.......

I have China to thank for this phenomenon.

When I travelled to China last April, my train trip to Qufu landed me in one of the worst situations: sitting on a hard-seat for an eight hour train ride. Let me describe the situation with a picture:

Image was borrowed from: http://www.bartellonline.com/summer/1/train-hard_seat.jpg

Now, this doesn't look too bad. However, let me change the seating arrangement/capacity limit. Imagine every seat is packed (three or four people per bench), boxes, suitcases, bags, and oil canisters are slammed onto the overhead shelf and laying on the floor. The tiny slots of available floor space are occupied by passengers--because those who cannot afford a hard-seat (92 kuai=$11 USD), like me, have to purchase a "standing room" ticket. For eight hours, they will stand or sit in what little floor space is available. But, this isn't the worst part......imagine the filth on the floors....people spit, babies eliminate, oil canisters leak.....imagine the smells....eight suffocating hours of little ventilation....the lingering aromas of food and body odor. You can't rest your head anywhere; you can't change the position of your body; you can't move. It's 11:33pm.

It just eight hours......just eight hours.

Just as I wanted to start crying, I looked toward the floor: sitting in the filth was a man my father's age..... his knees were drawn into his chest; he looked tired, dirty, emaciated, and in pain.

This image struck me harder than any other. How shameful it was that I wanted to cry because I was sitting in a hard-seat instead of comfortably resting in a hard-sleeper.

China's taught me a lot. But, more importantly, it has constantly reinforced one timeless lesson: Life's not fair.

And so the saga continues.....I see all types of suffering on a daily basis. But this time, I don't shame myself; I try to change myself. When something bad happens to me, I try to remind myself of the triviality of the situation.

I can't change the world, or end the poverty that plagues so many. But, I can make small changes in my own life. Perhaps that is why my mother has done so much good for her family, friends, and community....a long time ago she stopped focusing on insignificant problems, and poured her energy into things of importance.