it's not all candy canes and kisses.

China is wonderful......the people, the culture, my school.

But there are those days.........the down days--days when I am utterly frustrated, sad, and homesick.

Unfortunately, I have always been a victim of idealism. Yes.....that is right.....I am an "everyone is good--money doesn't matter--rainbows and ponies--candy canes and kisses" thinker. It's a shame that I am a part of reality......because money does matter, and not all people are good, and rainbows and ponies usually only exist in JCrew ads....where the girls, in chic and expensive dresses, are pretty and perfect.

Before I came to China, I believed that I was venturing to the mystical far-east of pleasantry.....a land of mooncakes, pretty girls in traditional dresses, elaborate tea ceremonies, and a people who were quiet, reserved, and polite. Well, China is truly culturally outstanding......but my initial perception was simply wrong. The people here are, well, people. They don't live mysterious lives as portrayed in The Lonely Planet.

As a matter of fact, there are some things I have not become accustomed to:

1) The spitting, snot rockets, and nose-picking.
2) The face that babies don't wear diapers....they eliminate on the sidewalks, gutters, and streets.
3) Always being intensely stared at.
4) Always being asked to sing for large groups of people at gatherings. (Yes, once again: after judging an oral English competition, Gary and I were asked to sing and entertain the crowd for 20 minutes while the scores were being processed.)
5) Although a fan of honesty, sometimes I am taken back by the brutal honesty of this culture. For example, the Chinese will tell you if you are fat...ugly...stupid...or if your Chinese pronunciation is poor...or if you don't use chopsticks well..etc.
6) The deafening sounds of car and bus horns....for example, if a bus stops to pick up people, the cars and buses behind it will start honking....like the stopped bus is going to start magically moving because of the sound of another bus' air horn.
7) The lack of cell phone decorum (this is infuriating). Here is the rule: if it rings, answer it. It doesn't matter if you are in a meeting, or a judge in an oral English competition, or at the dinner table...the urgency of a call trumps all things and situations.

Now, please do not assume that all Chinese people do all of these things. And please don't assume that the Chinese are rude and thoughtless people....this is far from the truth. But the clash between American and Chinese culture sometimes creates an unusual tension in me. Although I have been blessed to travel many places, I have never endured culture shock quite like this.....

I have to remind myself...I am in China...this is the culture...get over yourself. There are the days when I can do this....and there are the days when I can't.

However, for all the good and bad...I wouldn't have it any differently. All I have to do is write or talk to one of my Chinese friends (Ingrid, Dan, Diana, Harry), or step into a classroom (well...this has its infuriating aspects too....but this is a topic in and of itself), or talk to one of my students, and I can still return to my ideal world....where life is a happy party of candy canes and kisses.